I haven't posted any movie reviews in quite a while so I thought I do that today. Course, I haven't posted anything in a while... another long stint without home internet access. Anyway....

I just took a sick day from work (and trust me, it was a true sick day!) followed by my actual days off so I had time to watch some movies. I watched Dear John, Remember Me and Donnie Darko. Dear John was my own choice. Just my kind of movie. Remember Me was forced on me by my son and Donnie Darko was recommended by a friend at work who has the same taste in a lot of things we watch. So, how did they stack up?

Dear John. Got it because, as I said, it seemed like exactly my cup of tea. And it was. Channing Tatum is a doll and Amanda Sayfried is gorgeous but not the boring, hollywood barbie type of gorgeous. She actually has some personality. You can imagine she would be fun to hang out with. The fact that the movie dealt with autism was a surprise to me and I was delighted with the way it was handled. It was a romance and had drama with just a touch of humor here and there which is the perfect blend for me. It wasn't nearly as predictable as I feared it would be. Okay, the end was predictable but the path to the end wasn't... completely. I would definitely watch a movie from this director again and I now join the ranks of the many females who are smitten with Channing. If you rent this movie (or buy it as I plan to) be sure to watch the extra about Braeden, the little autistic boy who plays Alan. It was cool to watch Henry Thomas in an interesting and mature enough role that I didn't sit there the whole time going, "Wow, that is the kid from ET!" Probably my favorite role in the movie was Richard Jenkins playing an undiagnosed Aspergers syndrome sufferer and the father of our hero, John. Fabulous job by an underrated actor. And I have to make note that the small role of Noodles made me sit up and take note. Well actually, it made me sit up and look him up on IMDB. Now that guy is seriously hot. I might actually have to watch an episode or two of the cop show he is on. Dang. Overall I'm gonna give this movie 5 stars. *****

Remember Me was one I planned to skip. I intended to never watch it because I had heard it was horribly sad and I don't generally do horribly sad. I am too empathetic. I end up feeling sick with misery over a stupid movie. But I was sick in bed and Cameron brought it to me and said, "You have to watch this." I had forgotten anything I had heard about it except that it had the vampire from Twilight fame in it. I had a vague recollection that it was sad but Cameron said, "Well it is a bit sad but worth it." Right. Gut wrenching is more like it. I had to watch a stupid comedy to stop feeling weepy after the horrible ending of this tear jerker. I forgot entirely that my oldest daughter, who understands my problems with reality based tear jerkers MUCH better than my son, had told me I did NOT want to watch this movie. Damn.

Don't get me wrong. It is a good movie. It sets a nice broody mood and won me over to Pattinson. I've been saying repeatedly that I am NOT a Robert Pattinson fan. I have to amend that now. I'm not a Robert Pattinson as Edward fan. Didn't buy the appeal of him in that role. In this movie he is amazing. As a devoted Lostie, I was already a fan of Emilie de Ravin. Pierce Brosnan was perfect as the cold, aloof and demanding father but it was a little hard to buy the convenient turnaround at the end. Everyone has heard the real life story of the father who wasn't in the twin towers because he uncharacteristically drove his daughter to school that day. But the sudden, heart-melting, I really want to spend quality time with my daughter and we are going to all be a much more functional family now right at the key moment was just too... well I know I'm repeating myself but... convenient to the plot. All because some mean girls cut her hair? As far as that goes, I kept wanting Emilie's character to tell little Caroline that with the short hair she looked like an adorable little Amanda Bynes. Much more flattering than the long hair anyway! And who takes their kid to a sleepover at the house of a girl with a history of teasing and bullying their child?! Really?

Anyway, I could nitpick about lots of minor story lines but the overall story, acting and directing were really wonderful. I should give this movie 4 stars but since it left me feeling literally sick to my stomach with remembered grief from one of the worst days in the world and I really wanted to kick my son's ass for making me watch it, I'm giving it three. Those are straight up for acting and directing. I DON'T LIKE REALITY BASED SAD MOVIES!! I will never watch Titanic and I will never watch Remember Me again. ***

Now, Donnie Darko. I probably shouldn't write this review yet as I fully intend to watch it at least one or two times more before I really decide what I think. Of course, I like movies that require me to do that. The ones that leave you thinking, "Did I just see what I thought I saw?" Chris from work told me he thought I would like this movie. He said it was quirky and offbeat and had to do with timetravel. He had me at quirky. A slight aside - it blew my daughters away that the strange teenager in this movie was "The Prince of Persia" LOL. Okay, the first scene was a little off-putting for me. I am a mom after all and this was one messed up family. And there were more than a few times, including after the ending, that I wondered if this was a serious drug-trip movie. And I know some people will think I am a hypocrite for not freaking out over the ending of this movie after all I just said about Remember Me. Here is the difference. Remember Me is REALITY BASED. Based on real events. And in that case, real events that I remember clearly as tearing apart the world as I knew it! This movie is anything but reality based. I was wondering a few minutes into this movie if they were going to be able to make me like or care about this guy or his family but they did. This same movie could start out as this one does and go in ten different directions so I never really copped to what was really going on ahead of time. Okay, Grandma Death tipped me off a bit. There were so many little Easter Eggs in this movie that I think the writers and creators of Lost must have studied it for inspiration. Seriously. Not to mention the time twisting aspect. Okay, I really have to go watch it again because instead of thinking of my reaction to the movie all I can think of are the questions I still have. Four stars pending further investigation. It could go to 5 or it could go to 2 or 3. We'll see. ****.... maybe.

I have made some big changes in my life in the past 3 months or so. Changes I've talked about and thought about and wished for for many years. It may seem like just a surface thing... like, "Oh Natalie is finally actually exercising." But, believe me, it is more than that. The biggest change is in my head and my gut. Most of 2009 I spent sitting on my backside, feeling hopeless, feeling like a failure, feeling that nothing would ever change. I ballooned up to a really disgusting weight, my highest ever. Well, I sucked it up and made the necessary doctor's appointments, got a YMCA membership and started doing something about it. No, the doctor still isn't about to do surgery on my knee so I'm stuck bone on bone with the pain that accompanies that. I found out that my shoulder pain was from a tear in the rotator cuff. He isn't gonna fix that either. He sent to physical therapy and gave me pain medicine. The physical therapy has been great and I'm almost done with it. I have a plan in place to replace those hours with strength training once the PT is done. I have tried some cardio, which I suck at but I'll keep trying till it gets easy. Then I'll work harder. I spend about 1.5 to 2 hours 4-5 days a week working in the water. I do an exercise class and then I swim laps. The first day, I couldn't even complete one continuous lap. Now, AFTER a 1 hour water exercise class (and trust me, Kendra gives you a serious workout) I am up to 12 laps. I follow that with some water walking in the current track.

As I said, it would be easy to think that it is all just attempt number 3012 for me to lose weight, get healthier and live a more active life but the biggest change is inside me. I can't explain it. I am not the same Natalie. Join me or get out of my way. MANY years ago in AlAnon I was given a little story called, "Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters" by Portia Nelson. It made me cry because I could so see myself stuck forever between Chapter 2 and 3. When I was really on track and working the program, I lived in Chapter 3. Most times I was still floundering around making excuses and thinking it wasn't my fault, "it" being anything.

The best way I can describe the change in me lately is I've skipped straight to chapter 5 and I'm LIVING there. Hell with accepting responsibility and avoiding the damn hole. I'M TAKING ANOTHER STREET ENTIRELY.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.