Do you ever have conversations in your head? I hope I'm not just giving away the fact that I'm certifiable... I was thinking I might need to break down and go to the doctor which anyone who knows me can tell you, I really, really hate to do. So I was imagining how the conversation with the doctor would go; you know, what he would ask and how I would answer. See, I have, or supposedly have, who the hell knows really, Myasthenia Gravis. Tumor in my thymus gland, unexplained muscle failure, extreme fatigue, eye weakness, trouble swallowing... fun stuff like that. Getting plenty of sleep is important for me and I just haven't been able to lately. Now, I hate to take meds almost as much as I hate to go to the doctor so I really don't know if I'll even ask about sleep aids but I was imagining the conversation as sort of a test run I suppose. So, are you under extra stress these days Natalie?

As an aside here, my doctor is such a sweet man. I'm not trying to give him a bad rap. I don't like or trust the profession overall and consider it a flawed system, kind of like with teachers and the public school system. There are some wonderful teachers out there but... that's another blog;o)

So... I finally come to my point. Extra stress? Are you kidding me? People with illnesses that is exacerbated by stress are screwed these days boy! If you aren't feeling stress these days then you either live in a cave or a cloud of sweet denial and/or ignorance. I literally fear for my country and for the future of my children and grandchildren. I haven't felt this much fear for my country since September 11, 2001. And I think we are in greater danger now than then. Kind of like the difference between a wolf being attacked and jumping up prepared to fight back and a docile little lamb being attacked and, well... dead meat. The really disturbing thing is that this time the danger is within. And it wears a suit and a big $h!t-eating grin. And its followers trip along after it with blank eyes and big smiles, nodding "Yes, oh mighty and wise one, yes!" The only hope I have is that a few here and there will come out of the fog and realize that they've followed it to the edge of a mighty cliff and they'll begin to yell and shake those around them to wake them as well. I pray for that every single day and night and convincing myself for a few sweet hours that we are still in His hands is the only way I get any sleep at all.

Stress? I only have the same stress that everyone else who loves this ccountry and the beliefs that it was founded on has. God bless this poor, misled country. Even the unfortunate fools who really think that spending trillions to help get us out of debt is a good idea. Even, nay especially, the poor idiots who think the best way to protect us from criminals with guns is to take the guns away from all the good guys. God bless us all with a quick awakening, hopefully in time to keep this country from ceasing to exist as a free republic.